I just checked the date of my last post and it is almost a month. I knew it had been a while but was surprised it had been 4 weeks.
I had determined when I started this blog a few months ago that I would only write if I felt I had something meaningful to say. No wasting of words this time around. My last attempt at blogging a year or so back did not succeed as I treated it like an on line journal of sorts and I learned that was not for me.
Sometimes words flow and sometimes they stubbornly refuse to be born. I know that they are swishing around inside me somewhere: hiding out or otherwise playing ‘hard to get.’
Because words are so precious to me I prefer to think of them as being incubated until they are strong and worthy and only then can they break the shell and breath the cold air of autumn which is very suddenly upon us in England.
In the past I have spent so much time writing in journals about how I feel today because of what happened yesterday or last week or last year, that I have forgotten how to simply enjoy living in the present. No more of that drug for me! Today is the only day we are living in. In fact the very second we think or feel or write or walk or laugh or cry . . . Is the only second we are actually living in. I am living in this moment: sitting in bed in my dressing gown until the heating takes hold and choosing to tap my screen and write on my blog. Why today? I don’t know, but that is what living in the moment is all about – isn’t it.
The fact that it is October which means days are colder and shorter and darker may be relevant.
As a S.A.D sufferer the shift towards winter in the northern hemisphere can throw me off kilter a bit. I am going to keep more lights on during the day this year and nudge the heating up too. I am happy to be ‘green’ and save power and energy, just as long as in the process my power and energy are not depleted.
I am increasingly peaceful with being me and being content to be in the moment. I make plans for today and next week and next month, with a view to the next 6: but beyond that I now realise that there is little benefit in thinking about or worrying about what may or may not come to pass.
I put my change in thinking patterns down to working on shifting them gently to a place that is better for me.
Even though the mercury is dropping and tomorrow we put the clocks back an hour which means daylight will end in the middle of the afternoon: I am fine.
My space is rich with people who I love and they love me.
Trust in life and leave the work of shaping it to fate.