The skin of a life long held belief is not an easy one to shed: but I am doing it and will continue to do it.
My particular understanding of the word – HAPPY – and belief about what it represents to me, are evolving over time, just as I am evolving as a person: shrugging off believes and ideas that are no longer relevant or meaningful in my life.
I used to think that BEing happy required a grinning face, a feeling of euphoria or a sensory ‘high’ of some sort. I had forgotten that BEing happy was a state of mind…a state of BEing that I last recalled strongly when I was raising my (then young) children. I was utterly in the moment at that time and utterly happy.
It was the presence of my kids and my central role in their formative lives, that brought that huge level of BEing happy to me. Today it is quite another thing and the most mammoth shift in my thinking today is this – that my happiness is not provided primarily by people and places, rather it is provided by me . . yes me!
My happiness … my BEing happy is self-generated – it comes from me: inside me.
My happiness emanates outwards, rather than my belief that it was something that I absorbed from the world around me.
This shift: this shedding of a no longer required skin, is guiding me towards the knowledge, understanding and acceptance that BEing happy is about BEing content.
It is about BEing fine, calm, peaceful, quiet, in control of my choices, aware of my needs, BEing myself and doing the things that I want to do.. Doing things that bring me pleasure…that please me …. that simply make me happy.
Having said all of this, I can still struggle to say the that little simple word...happy out loud. So when asked how I am, I will most likely reply…I’m fine, I’m good etc. That’s OK though, as I know that on the inside, that happy place looks out at the world like never before.